Cjey arrived yesterday. Weee! Went to pick her up. Wrong airport. Ate at market! market! with cjey and moki. 1st time at Ocean Park. Weee! Met up with Sheng in Greenbelt. Waited for Janice. Ate the night away. Slept while the rest sang their hearts out videoke. Sang one song: Papa don't preach. Weee!  Ate. Again. Went home. Still awake. Now sleepy. Will write more when I'm coherent =p

but i figured that when Jesus multiplied the loaves of bread, He was present, He was there to make it happen. that in our present day in time, miracles still happen but in a somewhat diluted version. like, a baby's birth. or maybe you're lacking money and feeling hungry, and then a friend will come along to treat you. or a family member will get well from a sickness. i thought that God was always watching but he would send angels in the form of other people to create that miracle. but what my friend Mercy and I experienced was beyond comprehension, super natural, nothing less than what we called a 'hardcore miracle'.

now, i'm gonna drop some numbers but only to better illustrate what happened :) and may i remind you that we all received a 13th month pay in december. haha! i'm going on the defensive here with regards to my salary =p

here we go.

once upon a time, about 2 weeks ago, mercy and i both attended a 6pm sunday service. just before it started, i remembered that i had planned to complete my december tithes that day. quickly, i told mercy i had to leave the room to withdraw money. she graciously offered to lend me the money i needed, to avoid the trouble. i needed exactly P4,700. i had not been able to give properly for the previous weeks services. she only had P1,900 at that time. or so she said. but i didn't hear it. the only thing i remembered hearing was that mercy said, 'ay, kulang pala pera ko'.

i knew i was gonna fidget and worry in my seat throughout the service, uncomfortable that i would not be able to give the little i could return for all the blessings He had bestowed on me. and it was the last sunday service for 2007! so, determined to look for an atm, i left the room, placing hope in manong guard to tell me that there was an atm within a 5 feet radius. no such luck. the nearest one was apparently on the 1st floor. i was way above on the 4th floor, and taking human traffic into consideration, i knew it was a lost cause. I asked, "Lord, is it ok if I go down now, but I really don't want to be late! What should I do?"

I went back feeling confident I'd be able to complete my tithe anyhow. I was thinking that maybe I could give the rest after the service. Offering came, and I took the P1,500 that I had in my wallet. I checked Mercy's wallet to add her cash to what I already had. I pulled out three (count that: 3) CRISP 1000 peso bills. I thought, maybe that's why she said it wasn't enough, she had 3K while I needed 4.7K. So no biggie right. I put the P4500 in the envelope. Realizing it was still lacking, i pulled out 2 (yes, two) more one hundred peso bills from her wallet.

Satisfied that I didn't have to go down and having been able to complete my tithe, I said my Thanks with a grateful heart.

Being fans of KFC, we headed over to good old Colonel Sanders place after the service. Mercy asked for her wallet, and while I was handing it over, I told her I took P3,200 from it.

"Ha? San galing yon?!"

"Are you sure?"

"Are you sure?!"

"Patingin nga  ng resibo mo.."

"Are you sure?"

"Di nga?!"

"Baka kala mo P1000 pero P100 lang talaga..."

"Tsong, kulay blue yon e, hindi ube, saka binilang ko pa, 3K yon.."

Hence, our frenzied conversation went something like the text above. We couldn't stop laughing not out of amusement but out of sheer amazement of what happened. Mercy shared with me, that she had attended the 10am service and gave out P2000 for her own tithes, stepping out in faith, that the good Lord will take care of her needs. She had to pay her rent to maintain her place, phone bills, her family's needs..basically a lot. She only had P1,900 left that day since she ate a P100 lunch.

But how could I have gotten all that cash, when her P1000 bill was tucked neatly behind the photo and I never peeked at that. How could I have procured 2 (yeah, I said two) 100 peso bills when her 100 peso bills amounting to P900 wasn't even touched. The money she had, remained the same plus the money I borrowed from her. She had enough to pay her bills, I was able to give my tithes happily as she had done earlier in the morning.

Nothing short than a hardcore miracle.

I use the word Amazing often to describe our Lord. His goodness, kindness and Faithfulness. But Amazing sometimes isn't enough. Totally and absolutely wondrous.

I texted almost everybody in my phonebook that night to tell them that I had experienced a miracle. So this is why I write this today. Some people to whom I had narrated the  story to had their doubts, which I actually fully understand. In today's cynical world, its kinda hard to believe things (but that's another story altogether). But let go of everything except your belief in the Lord's heart. We need to trust firmly and wholeheartedly to Him. But unless we're holding on to something else, we cannot hold on to Him. We need to let go before we can hold on. And when we do, He will overtake us with His blessings.

Everybody in the world may let us down without them wanting to. But God's word never fails. He said that He will instruct us in His ways, watching and guiding over us always. You know the lyric , "I'll be there for you, these 5 words I swear to you"? The Lord had promised us these long before Bon Jovi even began to write it down. Hehe.

How good you are Lord. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

my bestfriend in the whole wide world is my DAD. i've had several people in my life call me bestfriend and i've tagged them the same. but my dad is the one who has always always been there and has loved me unconditionally. regardless of what a brat i can be. (my designated bff jenny has called me a brat once during our college years).

he's always THE man. always there to wait for me whether i'm playing piko with my friends or maybe when i've ran away, cracking jokes when i'm heartbroken over a guy, gives (in)sane advice, will come pick me up when i'm sick though i live 3 hours away and believes in my capabilities no matter what. 

when i was growing up, i couldn't remember him ever being sick. my mom would say he had a fever, but he'd just brush it off and eat more vegetables. he was always out playing tennis, in the corn fields (he's a scientist), going out looking for the fun in life.

my parents would always enroll me in swimming class during summer breaks. at the end of each summer, they would hold a swim competition for all the kids to see who was the best in freestyle, backstroke and all the diff styles. and they would have one for the parents as well - the adult events. one such summer, i ended up winning all the events and my dad won all the adult events. that was so cool.

majority of the things i still love up to now, i can attribute to my dad. swimming, love of reading, travel, movies - i only realized recently that they were his influences.

i went to visit my brother in the US last may, and interestingly enough he also considers our dad as his bestfriend too.

good thing, my dad tells me i'm his bestfriend coz i'm more like him. heeeeeeheeeeee =p

which is why its so hard for me now to see him now as anything less than the strongest man in the world.  he's been sickly lately complaining about his foot, his back, his heart. my mom told me last night that he can't even manage to play tennis anymore.  that's uncomprehendable. my dad has been playing tennis my whole life. if i were to paint him, he'd be wearing his tennis short and shoes and wielding a blue tennis racket.

if my dad is getting older, does that mean i'm not his little girl anymore? 

my dad is cool. he's gonna be okay. he's gonna be well. i know this much. i know. i believe it.

you know how we say we want to move forward and forget our bad experiences? we make grandiose statements, we tell our good friends all about it, we paste huge smiles on our faces and think we are okay. we deny so much that we fool even ourselves. i don't know how far 'positive thinking' can bring us when deep inside we are still affected.

well...i'm making another one. and i want my whole being to be listening. coz sometimes my mouth says something, but my brain doubts it, then my heart mocks me. then my guts say a totally different thing. my body is all out of sorts. nobody agrees with anybody. it's a microcosm for philippine politics.

here it is.

I REFUSE, WILL NOT, WILL NEVER BE AGAIN, A  PAWN IN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES. I WILL TAKE CONTROL OF THE 'POWER OF CHOICE' AND WILL COMPLETE MY PAST. MY PAST HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY FUTURE. I WILL CONSCIOUSLY USE THE 'POWER' TO DIRECT MY DESTINY. I WILL NEVER ALLOW TO SIMPLY DEFLECT THE FORCES THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO USE TO THEIR ADVANTAGE. 

GOD GAVE ME FREE WILL. I AM GRATEFUL FOR THIS AND WILL MAXIMIZE IT. I AM THE MASTER OF MY FATE, I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL. 

INVICTUS MEANS UNCONQUERED.

I CREATE MY OWN.

I SOLEMNLY SWEAR AND PROMISE MYSELF TO ONLY THINK OF CHEERFUL, HAPPY, POSITIVE, THOUGHTS. IF PAIN AND SUFFERING EMERGES, I WILL GIVE SUFFICIENT TIME TO GRIEVE IT, THEN PUT IT IN THE PAST AND NOT LOOK BACK. LOCK IT IN THE PAST. BALL AND CHAIN.

NEVER AGAIN. NOPE. NEVER.

I WILL RAISE MY CHIN AND LOOK AHEAD.